Posted in Mental Health, Psychology, Self Help

Mental Wellness = Outcome Tolerance

What in the name of H E Double Hockey Sticks is Outcome Tolerance?

Let me share with you.

When things happen, there is an outcome. There is ALWAYS an outcome. To every action there is an outcome, which by the way is the next action. It’s life’s little sequence. When I am late for work, the outcomes include many of the following and even more, I am sure, that you can imagine:

Escalating Anxiety – Occurring IN THE MOMENT

Road Rage – As a Result of the Escalating anxiety.

Rehearsal of Why I Am Late Speech – Problem Solving and Attempts to Cope

Avoiding a Mad Boss, and/or

Walk of Shame Infront of Co-Workers Who Arrived on Time.

Outcomes are the narratives of what has happened and why and can be present and/or future focused. When we first create the outcome narrative, we have an emotional and then behavioral reactions to the action that triggered the cognitive process in the first place. So, when I realize I am late for work, my mind goes to work. Creating what if scenarios which drive emotional and behavioral responses. The outcome of being late are narratives that are in the future….mad boss, glaring co-workers, rehearsal of speeches.

Sometimes the outcome narratives are in the moment. When I break a beloved possession because I am trying to carry too much stuff at once, I evaluate that I am a dork, inept, incapable, lazy and so on. That cognitive process driving an outcome narrative is real time. Drives powerful emotions and those emotions are expressed through dramatic behaviors.

Outcomes are stories that impact our ability to emotionally and behaviorally regulate and manage our daily lives when the Bullshit of Life strikes.

Our ability to tolerate, accept, manage and appropriately use “outcomes” is the difference between having mental wellness or not. We use our psychological fitness skills to tolerate life’s bumps in the road. We use our psychological fitness skills to accept he bullshit of life moments and move beyond these moments to the next moments life has to offer and learn something. Outcomes are learning opportunities.

Our inability to tolerate outcomes leaves us stagnate, isolated, angry, depressed and fearful. Our inability to accept and manage outcomes leads to a terrible existence and experience with life.

Learning to tolerate being late, forgetting to get milk at the store, missing a coffee date or what ever is a foundational key for mental wellness.


Posted in Mental Health, Psychology, Self Help

Why ALL the Drama?

So, I have been looking into TikTok and YouTube as I am interested in using my video production and teaching/speaking skills to promote mental wellness. Prior to becoming a licensed counselor I worked in radio and television.

When I look at TikTok and Youtube videos, I am troubled by the overly dramatic and Shakespearian feel to many of the videos that focus on disease, dysfunction and disorder and not the real measure of mental wellness which is the ability to deal with and manage the bullshit of life.

Mental Wellness is NOT about saying you have anxiety or being able to articulate WHY you have anxiety. Mental Wellness is about how you manage and how you overcome the symptoms known as anxiety. How you preserver and achieve the goals you have set for yourself.

Mental Wellness is NOT about your anger or why you became angry. Mental Wellness is about how you are able get what you want and need without resorting to certain behaviors, that have worked in the past, and are no longer effective and/or healthy.

Mental Wellness is NOT about what you have, why you have it or what happened to you to give it to you. Mental Wellness is about HOW you respond to what has happened to you, what you may or may not have and why you have what it is that you have be it depression, anxiety or anger and addiction issues.

Mental Wellness is about getting your head out of your ass and your ass off of the couch and DOING something to improve the quality of your life, relationships, career and dreams. Doing something each and every day.

Mental Wellness is about putting in the work, hard work, for the purpose of improving you life.

Posted in Comedy, Mental Health, Psychology, Self Help

Getting Back in the Saddle

After a two-plus week trek to the great southeast of ‘Merica, I am getting back into the saddle of offering counseling, coaching and consulting services. Not to mention creating content on how to improve your mental wellness and psychological fitness via blogs, videos, podcasts and more.

I love this shirt that I bought at Mammoth Cave in Kentucky. My kind of humor and it tells a story.

When it comes to healing, putting in the work to deal with the Bullshit of Life, you need: Story Telling and Humor. The ability to tell your stories (past, present and future) as well as being able to laugh and find the lighter-side of any story are critical in securing our overall mental wellness

Healing is difficult enough. Building a great routine of psychological fitness skills for the purpose of improving the overall quality of your life is not easy and you might as well have some fun when trying to do it.

On this blog, I discuss my approaches to healing and hope that your sharing in my healing adventures and grieving processes you pick up something of value and then integrate that nugget into your very own mental wellness approach.

Now that I have unkinked my rope, taken much needed time off, I am once again ready to focus on my mission of promoting mental wellness and debunking the psychological industry here in ‘Merica.