Posted in Mental Health, Psychology, Self Help

Death or Divorce

Welcome to my Heart 2 Heart Series featuring existential reflections of the narratives of my heart stories and those of my children and how these stories impact me, my wife, family & friends. Glad you have joined me on this introspective journey.

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Me in Seattle Eating Awesome Sushi

So, the other day a colleague of my wife’s, who is moderately aware of my heart related saga, “checked in” on my wife who was working with the lights off (her work space has windows) wrapped in a blanket of silence.

“Nancy? Are you OK?” quietly asked her colleague as she peaked in and moved like a sloth into the bowels of the room as if she were avoiding something.

“Yes. why?” my wife replied a touch confused yet also focused on her own work.

“Well, I didn’t see you wearing your wedding ring” (dramatic pause, somber music starts and slowly grows) and thought, we were thinking…”

My wife interrupted her quickly, “We are all ok. Just didn’t have the time to put my rings on.”

Her colleague, along with a gaggle of other colleagues, wondered if Nancy and I were getting a divorce during the time-frame when I was in the hospital due to my heart issues last month. She was not wearing rings and she was taking time off from work, a rarity for my wife whose work ethic is even stronger than mine due to higher levels of anxiety related to being fired for not having 100% attendance – like getting a letter grade reduction while in high school.

Initially I laughed. Shook my head and though, “people.” Then, as it lingered, I pondered would I rather they be concerned that I have died or if we are getting a divorce.

Dead I get. Heart surgery and hospitalization for heart issues sets a foundation for THAT narrative.

Why divorced? What’s the basis for THAT narrative? Not wearing rings. My wife has a ring for almost every finger thanks to her mother. My wife’s mother died suddenly due to a heart attack and my wife wears her rings in honor of her mother. Hmmmm. Another heart saga connecting to this tale.

Funny how the optics can fuel narratives of people who are not even listed in the opening credits of the movie of your life. They are in the back end credits. When everyone is leaving the theater or switched streaming services. Minor characters who can at times impact the major plot line.

I finally got a chance to use this line in real life, yes, I am a movie line quoter, from one of my faviorite 90s movies.

Love those movies from the 90s.

Death or divorce. No thanks to either. How about life and love and sailing into the sunset.

That’s the narrative I am writing and planning on producing.


Counselor, Satirist, Podcaster, Author, Professor, Speaker, Father and Husband

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