Welcome to my Heart 2 Heart Series featuring existential reflections of the narratives of my heart stories and those of my children and how these stories impact me, my wife, family & friends. Glad you have joined me on this introspective journey.
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I get the sense that God is yelling at me to:
Slow the Fuck Down!
Now, some of my Christian friends will read that statement and emphatically attempt to tell me through emails and texts that God would NEVER use the word fuck.
Thus missing my point entirely that it’s NOT about slowing down. It is about my seemingly cocky, lack of desire to listen to God or my complete lack of reasonable insight that slowing down is beneficial for my physical and mental wellbeing especially when facing major surgery.
Perhaps you have heard that self-care is a “good thing” these days. It’s going around and you need to catch some of it I have been advised.
Not quite sure what self-care is; to be quite honest with you. I assume that self-care means you and you alone have decided that some action or activity (like minigolf) is a healthy for you so you do it and do it often. If so, then works for me.
As I prepare for my second open heart surgery as a patient, my first was in March of 1971 and the third in my life, my daughter Dakota had open heart surgery in October 2002. My daughter’s was not successful and she passed aware from her congenital defects. I, for some reason, lived.
Back to my thought, as I prepare, I realize that I will have to take it easy for a period of time post the surgery. Initially no worries, the trauma of the surgery will see to that. I am sure I will have a great couple of days of sleep after the surgery then be slowing brought back to life like Peter Boyle in Young Frankenstein with the docs saying, Life, Give My Creation Life!”
However, post the initial recovery and discharge from the hospital, I am worried that I will be bored. I am worried that I am not making money and will want to ease my savage anxieties about being poor and homeless (I was once homeless and broke and it was horrible and I’d like to avoid a repeat of that please) by seeing clients and booking appointments.
I AM so arrogant and cocky as to say that I will be back to seeing clients within three weeks of the surgery. Only an insecure and anxious and insane make would say such a think. I a man with a brain donated by Abby Normal.
Embracing the need to ‘slow down‘ before, during and after the surgery and well into my planned medical is crucial for my physical and mental health.
It’s just no so easy for me to do.
Even if God is telling me to fucking do something.