1 for 1 in Open Heart Surgeries

Welcome to my Heart 2 Heart Series featuring existential reflections of the narratives of my heart stories and those of my children and how these stories impact me, my wife, family & friends. Glad you have joined me on this introspective journey.

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I am no stranger to open heart surgery.

I had one in 1971 to correct two defects: a pulmonary stenosis and a ventricular septal defect.

My daughter had one in 2002 to correct Truncus Arteriosus.

I survived and she did not.

Now, as a prepare for another open heart surgery, I am hoping that my batting average INCREASES.

The doctors will replace my pulmonary valve which was repaired in 1971 and also address an opening in the ventricular septum, which was also repaired in 1971 yet needs additional adjustments. In addition, they will perform a MAZE procedure for the purpose of preventing my heart from going into atrial fibrillation.

Afib sucks. Was in Afib for about five months this year and needed a cardioversion procedure to ‘shock’ my heart back into a normal sinus rhythms. During my Afib days my heart rate escalated, so did my systolic blood pressure and I had a host of unpleasant and comfortable symptoms that dramatically impacted the quality of my life.

It’s hard for me to think about my pending surgery without thinking about my previous surgery and my daughter’s which of course ushers in a host of horrible emotions and thoughts, questions and existential crises such as why was my childhood surgery successful and my daughter’s not? Why was I lucky when I was the patient and horribly unlucky when I was the father.

And what is the outcome of yet another open heart surgery.

For me the worse case scenario is but a deep slumber and a pain my wife and children will have to bear and learn to grieve. So many questions and deep twisting thoughts.