I may not be a sailor but I do have an unhealthy fetish with pirates.
When it comes to taking risks, trying new things, engaging in new adventures, all in the name of healing, the first thing we need to realize is that risk taking requires a strong sense of self-concept or self-esteem. In other words, we must recognize our own value, believe in abilities, and have faith in the journey and that we will reach our intended destination if we are ever to take risks and change our lives.
When sailors are about to change course or speed, the captain of the ship yells “Jibe-Ho” which indicates to everyone on deck that the boom arm is about to swing across the centerline of the ship for the purpose of either releasing or capturing the wind to increase or decrease speed and possibly to change course. This cautionary shout out warns everyone that a change is coming and, for that change to occur, danger will sweep across the deck. So, if you are not paying attention and/or daydreaming, you may just end up taking a swim or getting a huge headache.
Many people often bitch and moan and throw their hands in the air then declare with vigor that they “don’t have what it takes to roll the dice, go big or go home, or change their lives for the better.” They can’t yell Jibe-Ho. That’s because they’re putting the emphasis on the wrong syllable.
You can not yell Jibe-Ho if you lack the confidence to do so or you lack the ability to chart a course for a sea of change and the port of adaptation. If you lack confidence in your abilities to navigate and improved your life through risk taking you will aimlessly sail the seas accomplishing nothing.
Self-Esteem or Self-Concept is a collection of cognitive skills that relate to our ability to accurately and fairly evaluate what it is that we bring to the table. When we lack self-confidence in our abilities, dreams, and self, we enter the “doldrums“, which is also a pirate term for a geographical location in which there are NO WINDS. No self-concept means you float without direction, purpose and meaning endlessly.
In order to set new courses and yell Jibe-Ho you need to be confident and comfortable with who you are and usually this starts with a set of core beliefs, foundational cognitive structures about who we are, what we stand for, what we deeply desire and how we plan to get our desires and needs met in a way that is healthy and effective.
Core beliefs are the foundational, automatic and powerful cognitions that are triggered as we evaluate ourselves and the outcomes of everyday life situations. When you do not hit our intended target and end up with an outcome you don’t’ desire, do you think you are “stupid” or “an idiot” or “not good enough”? Or do you think, “Well, that’s one way to do it, now let’s try this. I am smart” or “I will get this at some point, I am adaptable and capable”?
Core Beliefs drive self-concept which drives our ability to set boundaries and engage with people, places and things effectively and in healthy ways so that we can take good risks, chart new courses and improve the quality of our life.
Jibe-Ho Everyone!
The Bob Zima Blog 