At the end of the day, the only person who can help you heal from the crises or life storms that have entered your life, wreaked havoc and then moved on, is:
During the onset of a life storm or shortly thereafter the people in your life will gather around you, offer support and encouragement, THEN they eventually get back to their primary job: running their own lives.
When that happens, you need to get down to the business of creating and managing your personalized healing plan.
No one knows what you need to mend and heal from those life storms that destroyed your life except for you. Your personality, temperament and life story are unique to you and thus you are the only one who truly understands what it is going to take to help you clean-up the debris of the life mend what has been broken by the storm and move in new directions away from the storm’s epicenter. My wife and I suffered through the exact same crises. However, we are two unique individuals with different likes, dislikes, needs, wants and talents different personalities, temperaments and Life stories prior to the life storms hitting our joined lives. There is no way the two of us can grieve (a.k.a. heal) identically. I need to do my healing and she her healing.